The beginning stage of any relationship is characterized by rainbows, butterflies, and a teeny bit of anxiety. After seeing each other for a while, the butterflies should subside, but your anxiety might not completely go away. It’s easy to worry about reciprocated feelings and the future of the relationship, but if these worries are outweighing the positives of your relationship, you may be experiencing relationship anxiety. Relationships anxiety is a general term for feelings of insecurity when things are going well. These feelings are often unfounded and more related to personal things like low self-esteem, mismatched attachment style, or past relationship trauma.
Here are some of the most common signs of relationship anxiety (and how to cope with them!):
- If you’re wondering if you matter:
If things are going well in your relationship, and your partner is paying attention to your needs and prioritizing you and your time, then you do not need to worry about whether or not you matter to your partner. This might be a sign of low self-esteem. Coping with this can be hard, especially because these feelings are fairly unrelated to your relationship. But, addressing your self-esteem issues can help you feel more confident about yourself and your relationship.
- If you’re questioning your partner’s feelings:
After the beginning stages of a relationship, you shouldn’t doubt your partner’s feelings. They have committed to being in a relationship and are clearly interested in you. Rather than question their feelings, try to take the relationship itself as a testament to their emotions and consider all of their actions as proof that they have feelings for you.
- If you’re avoiding relationship milestones:
Relationship anxiety is often linked to fear of rejection. This fear can cause you to avoid important relationship steps, like having sex, saying ‘I love you’, introducing your partner to friends and family, or meeting your partner’s friends and family in order to avoid rejection altogether. To cope with this anxiety, try to Relish in your evolving relationship and look forward to these milestones as testaments to the strength of your relationship.
- If you’re overanalyzing their character:
If you find yourself obsessing over little things your partner is doing, and reading too much into them, the best way to cope is to ask them if everything is alright. Bringing up a specific incident that is causing your anxiety and sharing how you interpreted it can help you and your partner navigate similar situations moving forward.