Violent display of emotions by a child doesn’t always require a radical approach. It depends on the type of personality and temperament – what is the norm for some children, should alert the parents of others. The main thing is to teach the child to control their emotions and help them adapt in society.
Key Principles of Developing Self-control in Children
Prolonged and pronounced negative emotions in the child – anxiety, fears, aggression, anger, dramatic mood swings – should be cause for alarm to parents. You can begin to teach self-control at home at any age. Psychologists recommend adhering to the basic rules:
- Accept the child’s emotions and do not devalue them. Exclude from the vocabulary phrases like “there is nothing to be afraid of,” “you are too big to act like that,” and so on. Acknowledge your child’s right to express his feelings. Otherwise, the baby will start to suppress them and be ashamed, which will lead to more problems.
- Give your child the right to any emotion. Prescriptions “you can’t get angry” or “there’s nothing to cry about” won’t give the expected result.
- Adults should understand themselves and explain to the child that it isn’t the feeling itself that is wrong or unacceptable, but its expression in a particular situation. For example, children can be offended or angry if they haven’t got a toy or candy. But it’s unacceptable to beat mom for this, or to fall on the ground in a tantrum.
- Teach your child to express his emotions in words and to find the reasons for them. “You’re hurt and sad right now because the other boy called you names…”. Such a skill is an important first step toward controlling emotions. In some cases, this alone is enough to calm down and feel better.
- Give the child an opportunity to vent the accumulated negativity. For younger children, this can be a special corner, moving role-playing games, a chance to run, tear paper or break something. Teenagers sometimes help virtual auto races, but you shouldn’t abuse this method.
Your child should feel your care and support. Talk to him about his feelings and problems, to make it clear that you care about them. On the other hand, you shouldn’t dwell on negativity, you need to be able to switch and look for ways out of a difficult situation.
How to Help Children Control Their Emotions: Tips for Parents
In psychology there is a concept of “emotional intelligence”. It’s the ability to understand and manage your emotions, as well as to understand other people’s feelings and build healthy relationships.
The Earlier the Work Begins, the Better
Learn to control your emotions and properly express them from the age of 3. This skill will take hold in a person for life and in the future will save him or her not only from conflicts in society but also from psychosomatic disorders, neurosis and depression.
Don’t Ignore or Forbid Children’s Feelings
The task of parents is to explain to the child that it’s normal and natural to experience feelings. It’s important not to fight and not to suppress them, but to learn to properly express their emotions and to respect limits. The child has a right to be offended that other children did not share a toy with him or her. But it’s inadmissible to fight or insult someone because of it.
Five Steps to Self-control
Teach your child to control their emotional state through a system of five steps. Any parent can master it:
- Teach your baby to recognize his or her feelings. For example, talk to him about the situation: “You were playing with your favorite car, and Johnny took it away from you. I understand how hurt you are now, how upset and angry you are.”
- Show that you care about your child’s feelings. For the duration of the conversation it is important to put aside all business, sit down to the level of the baby’s eyes, take him/her by the hand or hug him/her.
- Discuss what is bothering the child.
- Expand the child’s vocabulary in the sphere of emotions, use as many words as possible to describe his or her condition. Books, cartoons, etc. can help.
- Explain that it’s possible to experience different emotions, but that there is unacceptable behavior.
It’s important to teach the child to feel the boundaries of other people – it will help them build their own competently.
Why It’s Important to Remember the Benefits of Emotional Intelligence
Understanding one’s emotional state will help one better understand the motives of others and the evaluation of the situation as a whole. Particularly in the case of conflict, the child will realize that the aggressor’s antics are caused by his personal inner conflicts. He or she won’t have a constant feeling of guilt and will learn to get out of difficult situations without losses similar to users playing gonzosquest.in/ who will understand how to hit a jackpot only after losing some dollars.
Emotional intelligence will help avoid conflicts, clearly and politely mark his boundaries and behave correctly.
The Best Exercises for Managing Emotions
Many techniques have been developed to help cope with negative states and maintain emotional balance. Performing them is easy even for a child:
- Breathing exercises – help to calm down and enter a balanced state. A simple exercise is to inhale with your nose counting to 7 and exhale to 11.
- The technique of “6 Questions” – having calmed down, you should ask yourself about your feelings – how strong they are, what actions you want to do under the influence of the emotional outburst, what results you want to achieve and what you need to do to get what you want.
- Keeping a diary – traditional or electronic. You can download special applications where moods and general emotional backgrounds are regularly recorded. A clever program adjusts to the user, helps understand the reasons for emotional outbursts and finds a resourceful state.
Teaching a child to manage their emotions takes time, attention, and patience. However, this work will be rewarded a hundredfold and will save your child from a lot of problems in the future.
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